El Horno del Diablo


Beginning Monday, our office had a “five-days-before-Christmas-breakfast-event”. The 40 employees of the Church in Colombia which work in our office had been divided into groups and each group took turns preparing a special breakfast for the entire group each day of the week. Most of the breakfasts consisted of typical Colombian foods, except for Friday (our turn – see below). Monday's breakfast was “aprepa con huevo” or, as they it, “arepcohuo” (really fast and blurring all the words together).

Arepa con Huevo

Everyone was in our office all week trying to meet our goals for the month. With our training days, people being sick, and Christmas, we were a little behind and trying to catch up. Every month we have a list of 400 – 500 students (we have over 1500 PEF “participantes” in Colombia alone at the present time) in various stages of their education and we are to contact each one. Some are new students participating in PEF for the first time, others are in the middle of their studies, and some are graduates who, hopefully, are working in their field of study. For the contact to count (and it really is the most effective way to develop a relationship of trust), it must be voice-to-voice or you must get a reply to an email or Facebook message. We ask them about family, school, jobs, etc., then give them the "rah-rah" and "please remember to pay your monthly stipend" (which is less than $5 per month). If the student doesn't have on-time payments five out of six months, they do not receive the next term's stipend. Requiring this teaches them to pay their obligations. We have three part-time, church-service missionaries doing the calling, so do the math. Mike and I stink at phone calls. Colombians talk so fast on the phone that it is very difficult to understand them (even for Mike) without being face-to-face. We will get better with practice. I am good at saying, "Could you hold for just a moment please?" (in Spanish, of course).

The Scary Window Cleaner Outside our Office

Esfefania, Pilar's Daughter, Helping Us in the Office
During Her Christmas Break

During lunch, we walked to a little kitchen store filled with all kinds of Christmas delights. It almost felt like we were in the states, except that everyone spoke Spanish! We bought the rest of our gifts for the Christmas party planned for that evening. I also made a Friday reservation at the J.W. Marriott down the street. Our 40th anniversary was on December 21 (see below) and I really wanted to "go away" and do something different. The hotel was promoting a weekend special, which included two buffet breakfasts, two sixty-minutes massages, and free internet, so it fit right into our plans.

In the afternoon, while making calls, someone opened our office door and told us that Friday was our assigned day to provide breakfast (that was the first we heard about our turn). He wanted our group to do a musical number in addition to the breakfast, so our little group of eight will be singing "O Holy Night". He sent each of us David Archuleta's youtube video of "O Holy Night" from his Christmas performance at the Chile Santiago Temple so we could practice. Ha, ha! David Archuletta's version is written about an octave lower than any version I have ever heard and he has a great voice! Sometimes Latins think all Americans can sing like the Tabernacle Choir.

Our evening Christmas party turned out perfect - one of those rare things that go just like you imagine it in your mind beforehand. The hotel prepared the table beautifully and really made us feel special. The chef even came in to explain the dishes he had prepared. Dressed in white, wearing an apron and a tall, pleated hat, he looked like Linguini, the boy chef in Ratatouille. In the invitation, we stressed the dinner began at 7:00 p.m. "en punto" (on the dot) and, miraculously, only one couple arrived a few minutes late. Arriving anywhere on time is often determined by traffic and you never know how it is really going to be. The attendees were people we work with: the Ostos (humanitarian missionaries), los Olayas (PEF), los Celys (PEF), los Gomez (our supervisor and his wife (CAS/PEF)), and Pilar Cely (PEF), along with her husband and their 9-year-old daughter, Estefania. All of the guests received a jar of jam (American-style) and some chocolates.

Our Christmas Dinner Party

Our Tuesday breakfast was a big chunk of smooth, white cheese, two different types of bread with unique flavors and a cup of hot chocolate. That white cheese is often used for breakfast here and is almost squeaky - kind of like cheese curds. One of the men in the day's breakfast group created a Christmas tree out of strawberries, cherries and slices of starfruit, and did a great job of arranging the table decorations. He even made little “gift cards” with white chocolate and decorated each with a tiny Christmas tree with ornaments. Very talented! He definitely “upped the ante” of expectation.


Chocolate Christmas Tree

Wall of Rice at One of the Local Stores

Wednesday's Christmas breakfast was . . . interesting. The "lechona" tasted quite good and may become one of my favorite Colombian dishes. It comes from the Department of Tolima and involves a whole pig – stuffed with rice, yellow peas, and lots of bits of porky goodness (FYI, the pig was not brought to the office - just the end result). A piece of the pig’s skin topped the rice. It had been fried and dried, kind of like a potato chip. The skin was described by someone as "crispy and delicious." I'd have to agree with the "crispy" part, but as for "delicious" - well, it reminded me of breaded and deep-fried leather lined with pork fat. I took one bite, then slipped the rest discreetly under my napkin. Mike took one look and did not take a bite.

We worked quite late and when it was time to leave, the rain was coming down in torrents. Pilar also worked late and was waiting for a ride, so we invited her to join us for dinner at the nearby OMA café - one of our favorite haunts. They serve good soups (lentil is my favorite) and decent bread (hard to find here). Bogota, when it is raining, is kind of like Seattle – you just want to sit in front of a fire with a bowl of soup. We stopped for groceries on the way home and had trouble keeping all the bags plus two adults under our one umbrella. It was a long day.

Lechona with Arepa (the White Disk)

Thursday was our first time having Luz at our apartment. "Luz" means light and that is what she provides to my day. Luz cleans for one of our friends and needed to pick up some extra days, so I willingly volunteered to have her come to our place one day a week. It's really heaven coming home at the end of a long day to find the laundry done, the shirts ironed, the floors mopped, rugs vacuumed, etc. The clean sheets on the bed and sparkling bathrooms make me the happiest - all for $25, which she is thrilled to get. Christmas breakfast today was a "tamal", which is a traditional dish often eaten for breakfast. The filling for a tamal can include any of the following: chicken, pork belly, pork ribs, boiled egg, carrots, peas, potatoes, rice and condiments. The filling is placed in “masa” and is wrapped with green plantain leaves neatly tied together, then cooked. The texture is similar to a tamale and is delicious! For those of you familiar with Chilean humitas, it is the Colombian version, just wrapped in banana leaves instead of the corn husks.

Tamal

My first haircut appointment was in the afternoon at a place called "L'Equipe" Coiffure - Design - Photographie. They design something (who knows what) on the third floor, take portraits on the second floor, and cut hair on the first floor. I felt a little embarrassed to introduce myself to the Esneyder, the stylist, because of a text I accidentally sent earlier in the week. I meant to send the text to our supervisor asking him what his wife preferred for her meal at Monday's Christmas party, but mistakenly, I pushed Esneyder's number. The text read, "Would your wife prefer fish or pork?" I discovered my error that morning when checking a phone message. When I arrived, I introduced myself, then said, "I mistakenly sent a text to you on Monday." He laughed, "Yes, I wondered what 'fish or pork’ meant in terms of a haircut - and I don't even have a wife!" While I got my gray colored, Esneyder cut Mike's hair. Mike then promptly fell asleep on the sofa while my hair was cut and styled. I miss my Tara, in Wenatchee, but hair grows. Mike remarked later that he's never had such "extras" during a haircut. While laying at the shampoo bowl, Esneyder painted something around his eyes, put gloss on his lips, and massaged his scalp - things never done at an American barbershop. :)

When we returned home, I attempted to make cinnamon rolls for our Christmas breakfast assignment. We have recently named our oven "El Horno del Diablo" (the “devil's oven”), because of its habit of removing all cooking agency from the apartment dweller. You never know what temperature you are going to get on any given day. I sometimes hear it making taunting noises. On this day, it decided to be uncooperative. One batch cooked brown on the bottom and raw on top, followed by another batch that appeared white as snow, but cooked through. I frosted the rolls, then did a taste test, YUCK!!! When rolling them up, the brown sugar looked like large granules of white sugar and the cinnamon had no smell. Upon sampling one of the rolls, it was quite tasteless and the frosting had a gritty texture like after you get your teeth cleaned and a little of the pumice remains in your teeth. Ewwuuu! Not wanting to gross anyone out, I made the last batch of dough into little crescent rolls instead of cinnamon rolls. By this time, El Horno del Diablo had decided to stick with one temperature and the rolls actually turned our quite well.

We were informed late Thursday that our group's Friday Christmas presentation would be taking place in the afternoon instead of the morning as the final event before the holidays. Pressure. I got up at 6:00 a.m. and made three more batches of rolls and baked them - AFTER preheating the devil oven for one hour. During lunchtime, Mike and I walked to Carulla, our favorite and most convenient grocery store, to purchase some ham, turkey and jam for the rolls, along with condiments. About 2:00 p.m., we began setting up the spread. Wow! We had enough food for an army and it's good we did, because everyone kept eating and eating. Afterwards, they made plates with what food was left and took it home. Luckily, I thought ahead and hid away six, genuine Chilean empanadas before they all disappeared. At the end of the party, karaoke made an appearance and it was hilarious. No embarrassment or fear at participating in that group! We got some classic video that will keep us entertained for days. Mike and I sang “El Paso” (Marty Robbins).

The Mad Baker

El Horno del Diablo

The Friday Spread

Chowing Down

Karaoke

The best part of the day occurred after we walked home and grabbed our suitcase. It was time to celebrate our anniversary! Wanting to get our "steps" in for the day, we walked to the hotel. I'm sure we were a sight to see rolling our little red suitcase behind us as it clattered over the potholes in the road and the uneven bricks in the sidewalk! We checked in and watched the news (our first TV in a month). Later that night we enjoyed a massage. It was Mike's first one ever and I think he's hooked. The only stipulation for a repeat massage though, is the robe has to go all the way around him. The robe he got was "made for a mini Colombian man" (his words), so he had to hold a towel in front to shield the gap. When I saw him, I burst out laughing. We were led to a dimly-lit room, where we were told to wait on padded lounge chairs. Half of the room was covered with decorative river rock with stepping stones across them. When they indicated our “massage room," Mike stared in disbelief as I clattered across the stones kicking them in all directions (I didn’t see the stepping stones). A very refined beginning. When our masseuses left the room while we got situated on the tables, Mike said they were probably outside the door doing rock, paper, scissors to see who got stuck with the "hairy guy." The tables we were laid out on like slabs of beef started heating up and Mike asked to have his turned off or he was going to be medium rare. They thought that was pretty funny. Our hotel room was lovely with fresh flowers, a super-comfy bed, and a beautiful view of the city. The Saturday morning breakfast was delicious, with all kinds of choices. We are going to check out the Valentine’s Day specials (I am sure they do not celebrate that here, but we will pretend they do!) It was a great day – an adventure within a greater adventure.

Our Room

KR Catching Up on the Grandkids Activities

Bogota From Our Room

Lobby View

Sunday was full of meetings, reading our scriptures, and resting. The bishop sofly walked up to us after Sacrament Meeting (alert, alert, alert) and asked Mike if he wanted a “challenge” (major alert). The gospel doctrine teacher thought the last lesson of the year was last week (actually it was) so she wouldn’t be teaching until January. The bishop asked if Mike could “teach something”, which he did---and he did a great job.

Chao until next week.

3 comments:

Amy D. said...

I just laughed so hard. I wish I was there to see mom walking across the rock! Ha..

Rick Merrill said...

Speaking fast in Bogota? When I was there the people in Bogota spoke in slow motion. If you want fast, take a trip out to the coast (maybe the people doing the talking were originally from there as slurring all the words together is how everyone spoke in the coast).

Seattle Jon said...

massage experience ... classic